28th November 2022
A couple of months ago I offered training in how to safeguard victims of Domestic Abuse in church to my local churches, completely free of charge. The response to that training is what has prompted me to address my posts during the 16 days of activism to men.
According to Google, there are over 30 churches in the city I live in, and on the last census just under 64,000 people in the district identified as Christian. Out of those 64,000 people, or 30 churches, not one single man thought that training in how to support domestic abuse victims would be worth his precious time.
Which gives me the impression that Christian men don’t give a monkeys! Though I’m assured that’s not true. When asking for feedback on why men didn’t come I received one response:
“It’ll be a room full of women and that’s intimidating”
Well I’m sorry you’re so scared of us.
Now, I want you to imagine for one moment that we were raping you and sexually assaulting you at a rate of 1 in 5 men. Imagine that 1 in 4 of you weren’t safe from the women in your own homes who profess to love you. Imagine that every eleven minutes a man was murdered by a woman, that you had grown up being taught how to dress so that you wouldn’t be raped, walk home so that you wouldn’t be assaulted, how to moderate the words you use, dampen your humour and intelligence so you wouldn’t upset and annoy women who may just beat you up for it. Imagine if you knew women who behaved like this not only weren’t prosecuted but held some of the most powerful positions in the world.
How much more intimidated would you be then?
That’s our lived reality and we don’t have the choice to ignore the uncomfortable issue of male violence against women because it’s quite literally killing us.
So, if your lack of action really is because it’s intimidating being in a room with women I have a message for you:
Although I would like to challenge you to consider whether it really is women you’re intimidated by, or whether it’s the thought of having your beliefs and attitudes challenged that really scares you? Or perhaps the reaction from other guys? Are you really scared of women or are you scared of other men who might question your masculinity if you dare to challenge their abuse and misogyny?
Must be nice to have the privilege not to even have to think about that.
16days #16daysofactivism #orangetheworld