Friday 19th May, 2023
There’s a reason I chose Always Hopeful as the name of my domestic abuse recovery programme.
I thought I was hopeful when I was married.
I hoped he’d be in a good mood each day, I hoped he’d be too tired to want sex when he came to bed at night, I hoped the latest anti-depressants would be the ones to fix him, I hoped he’d get the job he applied for, I hoped he’d recognise how much he hurt me, I hoped one day we would be happy.
I thought I hoped all things.
But those things weren’t hope. They were wishes. The difference between hope and a wish is that hope is grounded in reality, it is built on a firm foundation, there is a reason for our hope.
My wishes were based on my abusers excuses and lies, not on any real concrete evidence that he loved me or would ever stop being abusive.
I now know that there are far more reasons to be hopeful, far better things to build my hopes on than an insecure man. Love gives us reason to hope, a firm foundation on which to build our hopes. Furthermore, love embues us with the confidence and the security we need to live in those hopes, to make ourselves vulnerable and take risks, to hope fearlessly.
